Reflecting 19/05/16

Today I followed the Liturgy of the Hours for the first time in a long time. It did me a lot of good, but there were two lines in particular that stood out to me and felt very personal. 

From Psalm 126

They wept as they went, went with seed for the sowing;

but with joy they will come, come bearing the sheaves

There has been a lot of weeping lately. We're still waiting for someone to take a chance on offering us a job. We're sowing now, planting seeds that we're not sure will grow, that we think won't grow, but we have no choice but to continue. I had never understood why the sowing of seeds would involve sadness. I now know it's the sadness of uncertainty, fear, anxiety. It's the space where hope should fit, and sometimes does not. But there, in the next line is the promise: they will reap with joy. And the sweetness of the crop will be enhanced by the bitterness of the sowing. There will be a harvest because God does not abandon his people. I must try to feel like I haven't been abandoned. 

From Isaiah 40

Like a shepherd he feeds his flock,

  he gathers the lambs in his arms and lifts them to his breast;

  he carries the pregnant ewes.

The good shepherd extends his utmost tenderness to the pregnant ewes. This touched a pregnant lady's soul. The good shepherd cares well for his pregnant ewe, and the good Lord will not abandon me.

It was all going so well...

and then my laptop died. This is why I haven't written in ages! But I'm up and running again with a new set up and plan to show you all the craft work I've been doing over the last few months and write down some of the strange thoughts that have been floating through my head.

For now though here are a few teaser images to give you an idea of what I've been up to.

Cushion Covers Galore!

I couldn't resist buying and embellishing some more cushion covers. The simplest was the blue and white 'sampler' design, I used a stitch directory and worked various stitches in lines across the cover. I love how gentle and simple it looks as a design. The large rose motif was probably the most challenging, but it was interesting to work with a knitting yarn,  it has produced a lovely soft surface on the satin stitch. I have already written about the 'doodle' cushion at the top here. Safe to say that it's all about bright colours and varying stitches.




Cushion covers are such a nice thing to work on, they immediately add a touch of individuality to a room and they are just the right size for a striking design. It's special too to have something that has been hand made, these all took a lot of time and consideration, and I hope it shows in the final product. I'm sure it won't be long before I succumb to the temptation to get hold of another one to work on. It seems, though, that our cushion quota is almost filled so I might need to rehome some before they start to breed again.




I'd love to actually sell some of these, so if you might be interested in some one of a kind homewares please let me know and we can discuss a custom order or you could even purchase one of these... I can produce these for between £25 - £40 depending on the style and requirements
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You can contact me via the contact page on here if you'd like, or leave a comment and I'll get back to you as swiftly as I can. I do hope you like these designs, I'd love to know what you think!

Travels with a toddler: The Cotswold Motoring Museum

The Cotswolds in early autumn was resplendent. Bright, warm colours, quaint village scenes, golden willow boughs bending to brush the water of rushing streams and all the other bucolic autumnal things you can imagine. Jem and I arrived in the village of Bourton-on-the-Water imagining that it would be a little known, pretty little village - we were wrong! This pretty little village was certainly not unknown to the coachloads of visitors from home and abroad. I had already found that in this part of the world everyone seems to drive 10mph slower than anywhere else, but now, I was actually mainly moving at 0mph to avoid maiming the innocent tourists who had to stand in the very middle of the narrow village road in order to get the perfect selfie. (To be quite fair we did the exact same thing a couple of hours later and I would heartily recommend it.) The thing about being a tourist in autumn is that sometimes you find yourself to be the only visitor to a place, and, while that sounds ideal, I actually find it pretty awkward. Anyway, I took the crowds of visitors as nothing but a good sign.

We had come to meet up with my old friend Emma and to visit the Cotswold Motoring Museum. Emma and I both felt a little silly that we - the girls - would be visiting a car museum without our partners, but there was something about Brum on the publicity material so we couldn't miss it.

Naturally, though being in a pretty little village with probably the highest concentration of tearooms per square mile I've ever seen, we decided that we simply must go for tea before and after. People, you haven't lived until you've sipped tea and eaten a smoked salmon sandwich while surrounded by pretty mismatched vintage crockery and furniture. Even Jem loved it - and he's not one for sitting around while I sip tea.

The motoring museum was amazing. This has to be one of the most interesting, well put together and one of the most fun museums I have ever been to. It is crammed full of exhibits documenting not only the motor cars but also the wider culture and social history of the 20th century. Some of the assets have been meticulously restored so as to be spotless. Others are displayed approximately 'as found' which allows the visitor to see something of the backstory. Many of the exhibits are shown with stories about who used them - some written by the owners themselves. Besides cars there were motorbikes, motoring accessories, bicycles, signage, the list could go on. We even saw actual Brum - Emma was somewhat starstruck. I cannot do justice in writing to how much of a treasure trove this is. The best part for Jem was that not only does the museum include a toy collection, but it has an adorable little play area, including a play-garage and a chance to drive Brum!

Having exhausted ourselves in the museum we retreated to another tearoom, where over tea and cake I managed to become Emma's first customer. Emma is an artist and has recently started offering drawings on commission. She made me two pieces, one of Jem and I together, that she drew from a photo on my phone, and another of Jem taken from life. I've had them framed now, and I think they're absolutely incredible. This is her professional facebook page - please check it out and give her a 'like'.

So in conclusion, I would like to move to Bourton-on-the-Water.

Apologies that you can see me in the reflection - but doesn't he look cute?!

Participating

Church can be difficult at the moment. With a one-year-old who likes to squirm, screech, thunder around, climb the pews and harass other children, sometimes there aren't enough books or raisins in the world (let alone my bag) to keep him calm enough for me to focus. We have to compromise a little. Sometimes I can't listen fully to the readings or the sermon because I have to take him out and calm him down. Sometimes I can't kneel throughout the Eucharistic prayer as I'd like because he needs my attention. Sometimes I can't concentrate and pray because I have to help him read his book.

Even without a toddler to deal with, it can be hard to participate fully. Everyone has things on their mind, worries and distractions that can take the mind off in another direction. Sometimes we can't share in the sacrament for the knowledge that there is sin in our lives. Even though I know that I have no choice but to continue looking after my son, even when I am at Mass, it can make me feel inadequate.

But there is one moment that I know I can participate in fully, even from the back of church chasing Jem around, even when I should have gone to confession, even when I've lost concentration during the prayers, even when I've already forgotten what the sermon was about.

Kneeling, the congregation repeats the words said by a centurion beseeching Christ to heal his servant:

"Lord, I am not worthy that you should enter under my roof," and we continue "but only say the word, and my soul shall be healed."

Thus, we make a final act of contrition before receiving Christ in the bread and wine, we acknowledge not only our unworthiness, but Christ's love and mercy. They are words for the sinner. 

We do not go to Mass because we deserve the sacraments. We do not approach Jesus perfect. We turn to him, and beg him to approach us. Sinners.

I once wrote a couple of lines about this: 

How can I stand here before you? - a sinner

Yet it is us whom you call - sinners all