Echoes of Heaven

 In the countryside close by there were shepherds who lived in the fields and took it in turns to watch their flocks during the night. The angel of the Lord appeared to them and the glory of the Lord shone round them. They were terrified, but the angel said, ‘Do not be afraid. Listen, I bring you news of great joy, a joy to be shared by the whole people. Today in the town of David a saviour has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord. And here is a sign for you: you will find a baby wrapped in swaddling clothes and lying in a manger.’ And suddenly with the angel there was a great throng of the heavenly host, praising God and singing:

‘Glory to God in the highest heaven,

and peace to men who enjoy his favour.’

When the angels had gone from them into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, ‘Let us go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened which the Lord has made known to us.’ So they hurried away and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby lying in the manger. When they saw the child they repeated what they had been told about him, and everyone who heard it was astonished at what the shepherds had to say. As for Mary, she treasured all these things and pondered them in her heart. And the shepherds went back glorifying and praising God for all they had heard and seen; it was exactly as they had been told.

We discussed this passage at an Advent retreat that I attended recently and it struck me that you could hear echoes in it.

 

The Angels, messengers of God (already echoes themselves of his glory) come down to meet the shepherds, to tell them of the birth of Our Lord and to praise God - to teach them to praise. The shepherds go, as they are told to, welcome Christ, honour and adore him, and then they leave, repeating what they have been told about this child, and glorifying God, just as the angels did.

One can imagine that they repeated exactly what they had heard, word for word, and sang the song of the angels. They echo.

And in that is an amazing role. At the Nativity, heaven breaks through to earth. The person of God is born as a child, divinity invades humanity, and nearby, this invasion is echoed with an army of angels appearing to a group of working men and filling the sky with shouts of victory. 

And so the shepherds are echoing heaven in what they say, and in adoring and glorifying the Lord. 

Thus they become like disciples, hearing and repeating, seeing and following. They are models for us in our weakness and humility. Even those who have little power or importance in the world can echo heaven and bring the divine message to those on earth. 

It tells us that praising and glorifying God is worthy work for a lifetime, if these men did nothing else of merit, they have seen and believed and made Jesus their joy. 

 

So can we echo heaven, when we praise God in liturgy (so vividly when we sing the Gloria at mass or repeat the words that we were taught in the Our Father) also when we follow the example of Christ in raising up those who are unfortunate, when we speak for justice, when we participate in Christ's sacrifice, when we pray, and when we adore. 

 

We may not be angels, but we can participate in this heavenly invasion, especially at Christmas.

May you echo heaven this Christmas!

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Disaster Prone

The other night I found myself leaning against a column at York railway station wondering why God would make someone as useless as I.

To properly illustrate where this (terrible) thought came from, I'll start about a week before that moment on a Sunday. I was out on the fell in Northumberland, running my first fell race in a long while. It was a ten miler and something I had been really looking forward to for weeks. I had even bought new shoes.

Well, I should have realised that everything would be iced over that day - it was bitterly cold, and new shoes wouldn't help my balance which was now inexpert since my time out. Within the first two miles I had fallen and ripped a hole in the knee of my (favourite) running tights. Four falls and perhaps five miles later I was limping home, upset that I couldn't now stage a comeback.

That Sunday I described myself as disaster prone. I made it to the finish with a bloodied and bruised knee and a sense of disappointment in myself.

The knee caused me trouble all week, hurting and preventing me from kneeling, but perhaps the label I gave myself caused me more pain. I let myself believe that that was who I was, someone who can't live up to her full potential because she will always fall over and slow herself down.

The upset on the train came from forgetting where I had put my tickets, I had remembered to pick up my outbound tickets for a week away as I was leaving, but had totally forgotten the return part. Already beating myself up about forgetting those tickets, I couldn't help feeling rather miserable when one of my connections down to Wales was cancelled, and I managed to worry and upset myself to the degree where I felt worthless and silly.

So I wondered why God would make me this way, why everything would keep going wrong, and whether I was just failing in all these things. Well, one thing I'm glad I did, I asked him!

In a time of silent prayer that weekend, I asked God why he would make someone like me, who seems to encounter difficulties and frustrations at every step. The answer was clear, God didn't make me like this, God is making me like this.

To explain, I felt that I was being reassured that I'm not the finished article, and this isn't all I'll ever be. So God continues to form me, he chips off a little here and there, adds something, changes an attitude. In all these difficulties, God is creating a more whole version of me, someone who can deal with a few bumps in the road when they come, who doesn't expect the path to be smooth and who can give thanks in small things when they go right.

His plans are bigger than mine, I'm just worried about travelling to Wales and back, he's taking me on a journey that will change me and make me more able to serve him.

I am reminded that these thoughts came to me in a similar way once, when I was at mass in Westminster Cathedral, that Cathedral is not finished, and no one quite knows how it will look when it is. Even in it's incompleteness, it is a beautiful place to worship. Likewise with myself, even though I am miles from perfect or adequate, I will worship the Lord in my heart because it is formed by God to be his temple.

Trusting in God...is a bit like Strictly Come Dancing

This is an image that I was thinking about in prayer recently, the idea of God as a divine dance partner.

Just like the novice dancers in Strictly Come Dancing, when we begin our journey of trusting in God, we just don't know what we're doing. We need to be taught, encouraged and ultimately led. But God does not lead us like an owner taking a dog for a walk, he moves, and he moves us in complex patterns, and in ways we can't understand.

The professionals in the show do their best to show the ability of their partner, they draw confidence out of them and impart skills. God wants us to be at our very best, so he guides, through the words of scripture, through the wisdom of others, prayer and revelation, and he gently teaches us how to be ourselves. He takes us as we are, and he forms us, it may involve pain, it will involve discipline and certain change. Our creator continues to create in us, throughout our lives.

The participants on Strictly have to trust their partners, how do they come to do that? Through building a relationship, spending time together, working together and getting to know each other. And when it comes to the pressure moments the partners are right there together. No one is judged alone.

But it is not a one sided effort, to be a perfect partnership, both must participate evenly, and both must be going  in the same direction. God doesn't lead us like dogs, going where the owner leads with no understanding, he leads us as capable, responsible, intelligent people. He gives us opportunities to do his will, and will guide and support us even as we do it.

Jesus says "Follow me". Can I let him lead me? Do I believe that with him in my life, I can achieve all that is asked of me? Do I have the courage to follow him and hold on to him even in difficult times?

Well God is better than Strictly Come Dancing, he will take every one of us, no matter how tall, short, thin, fat, broken, bad or good, and make us more than we are.

He will never leave you or forsake you, the dance will never end. And joining the dance with God, is participating in a dance of love. God in his trinitarian nature is relationship, Father, Son and Holy Spirit, sharing, loving.

God invites us to do something difficult yet beautiful with our lives, and he will lead us every step of the way.

Discipleship and Sacrifice

James and John, the sons of Zebedee, approached Jesus. ‘Master,’ they said to him ‘we want you to do us a favour.’ He said to them, ‘What is it you want me to do for you?’ They said to him, ‘Allow us to sit one at your right hand and the other at your left in your glory.’ ‘You do not know what you are asking’ Jesus said to them. ‘Can you drink the cup that I must drink, or be baptised with the baptism with which I must be baptised?’ They replied, ‘We can.’ Jesus said to them, ‘The cup that I must drink you shall drink, and with the baptism with which I must be baptised you shall be baptised, but as for seats at my right hand or my left, these are not mine to grant; they belong to those to whom they have been allotted.’ 

Mark 10: 35-40

James and John are looking for true communion with Jesus. Christianity values this communion as the most important thing, above earthly pleasures and fleeting happiness, true joy is found in being close to the Creator and following in his ways. This is discipleship, this following, listening - the real aim is to be like, speak with, and act as the master. So when we see disciples we see imitators of Christ. When we see Christians we should not see people whose lives are easy, or whose prayers are like takeaway orders but people whose longing is to be with Christ.

When the disciples ask to sit with him in glory, Jesus tells them that they don't understand their own request, he knows, he has foretold where he is going, and the journey that will take him there. He knows that they must walk in his footsteps to get there. He asks them, can you really follow me? Can you drink the cup, can you be baptised with me? Good disciples want nothing more than to be like the master. Yes, they reply, we can. They have foretold, with Christ, their own destiny. Like him, the disciples will suffer witnessing to truth, most of them will die at the hands of others, speaking the gospel of Jesus Christ. 

Christianity is not going to make life easier or more pleasurable. Christ promises us that we are blessed when we are derided and persecuted for his name. Sharing in Christ's life means sharing in his sacrifice, we must let go of the earthly and fleshy desires that govern our lives without him and start to bear the cross of choosing to walk like him every day. He asks us - can you follow me? Yes, we reply, but not with my own strength. 

We are to choose to be like him, to let go of the things that comfort us, to put others first and to reject the momentary pleasures that come with sin for the eternal joy and honour of remaining in Christ, and for that we ask for his strength, he sacrificed himself so that we might be free, so must we lay down our lives in sacrifice to follow him and to witness to his gospel.

It's not easy. How can I make my small, insignificant life a real sacrifice? Would I have the strength of conviction to be a martyr? The answer can only come in prayer and devotion. 

Help me Lord, in my good resolution

And in your holy service,

and give me grace now, this day to begin truly

for what I have hitherto done is nothing.

           Thomas a Kempis

Approaching the Throne

Recently, when I had just arrived at church for Mass, I found myself praying these lines:

Lord, I come to your awesome presence,

From the shadows into your radiance.

By the blood I may enter your brightness,

Search me, try me, consume all my darkness.

Ok, it's from Shine, Jesus, Shine one of our old school hymns, which is probably why I hadn't noticed how apt those lines are before, and how much truth is in that verse.

It just amazed me that day how these few lines expressed so many things, the glory and majesty of God, our own brokenness and need for him, Christ's sacrifice that brings us fully into his grace, the presence of Christ in the Church, in the sacraments and in ourselves, and an openness and willingness to subject ourselves to him as our king.

All the things that I need to believe in my heart and express when I come to him in the sacrament of the Eucharist.

It brought home to me that worship is not just about saying "God, you're wonderful" (which he is) but about giving oneself to him, and partaking in Christ's sacrifice. We say, "Lord, show me my faults and renew my heart" so that we can become more fully united with him.

It is not worship from afar, it is intimate, we are not watching the stage from the stalls, we are approaching the throne. We are members of a family, and we are to join in that familial love, exemplified in the trinity.

This kind of intimacy and love, is the very heart of the sacrament of the Eucharist, which is why, I think, these lines are a perfect meditation for the beginning of Mass.

God bless.
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