Reflecting 19/05/16

Today I followed the Liturgy of the Hours for the first time in a long time. It did me a lot of good, but there were two lines in particular that stood out to me and felt very personal. 

From Psalm 126

They wept as they went, went with seed for the sowing;

but with joy they will come, come bearing the sheaves

There has been a lot of weeping lately. We're still waiting for someone to take a chance on offering us a job. We're sowing now, planting seeds that we're not sure will grow, that we think won't grow, but we have no choice but to continue. I had never understood why the sowing of seeds would involve sadness. I now know it's the sadness of uncertainty, fear, anxiety. It's the space where hope should fit, and sometimes does not. But there, in the next line is the promise: they will reap with joy. And the sweetness of the crop will be enhanced by the bitterness of the sowing. There will be a harvest because God does not abandon his people. I must try to feel like I haven't been abandoned. 

From Isaiah 40

Like a shepherd he feeds his flock,

  he gathers the lambs in his arms and lifts them to his breast;

  he carries the pregnant ewes.

The good shepherd extends his utmost tenderness to the pregnant ewes. This touched a pregnant lady's soul. The good shepherd cares well for his pregnant ewe, and the good Lord will not abandon me.