Praying out Loud

I found myself today surrounded by my toddler (can you be surrounded by one person? Yes, when they're two and a half feet tall, charging about and destroying your living room, yes you can.) He was busy overturning the dining chairs and dismantling my armchair, and in the middle of it I was reciting out loud the words of the novena to Christ the King.

Oh by the way, there's this really cool thing:

praymorenovenas.com

It reminds you to pray novenas.

Occasionally, I had to pause to say something along the lines of "No, please don't hit the baby" or "OUCH!" or "ARGGGGGHHHH GET THE CHAIR OFF MY FOOT!" 

I could think: what good is any of this? I'm not really concentrating on the prayers, I'm not giving my son all the attention he wants. He's certainly not interested in praying. It is tempting to see it this way, and to just give up. 

But I chose to pray in that moment. I offered that moment to God because it was all that I had to give. All I have to give, one baby boy who smiles and screams, one little boy who spreads chaos as a matter of routine. All I have to give, a head full of worries and a trepidatious heart. I have to hand over the hoovering and the laundry and the tears I wipe from faces and the play doh apples that I'm ordered to make and the stories I read and the nappies I change and all the love I have for my little family. I give what I have and in so doing I find that I am rich. 

And for my son too the prayer time matters, we are trying to get him used to God. He makes the sign of the cross - even if he does get it a little mixed up with head, shoulders, knees and toes. He can point out Mummy Mary and St Joseph and Jesus when we go to church. We light a candle together - having to remind him that we should not blow it out because Jesus might like to look at it later. He can almost say Amen. He has a lot to learn, but we can only start with little steps. 

So I'll carry on praying out loud and I hope that the Lord will hear me over the din. And I'll keep making baby steps towards my God. If I am ever going to reach him, I must be like a child. I must be more like my little ones, and they make baby steps. My little ones have a lot to learn, but so do I.